finally i can blog once agian.... on my mothers computer... hahaha... anyway... *cough cough* hmmm... well i almost lose her... i know that she have a very rough pass last time... tat makes her dont dare to love again... she say tat 'her heart is empty now.. she lost her self' she cannot find her self already... i kn0w very well about her pass... last night she was talking to her ex's tat make me fell very uncomfortable... first she was talking to her China friend... den she mention about me... i dont know maybe i'm abit dont like to suddenly know a guy... i feel very weird... ok den i went out coz they were talking by using video conversation on QQ... den after a while when i came back in i saw her chatting with her ex... wow.... hmmm... is a guy from iran.. i dont know wat she looks into him before... welll... den wat i know on tat time is i was damn piss tat's all... so i went out again... haiz... the hole night i was in and out tat's wat i know... den after at night we fight... well it was kinda hard to make her say tat she love's me... tell you onestly from the first day i know her until now she nvr say she loves me... and i fell very unsafe being together with her... but i understand her pass so i forgive her... one day i will hear her say 'CK I THINK I REALLY FALLLING IN LOVE WITH YOU ALREADY... I LOVE YOU CK' one day... i will wait joyce... anyway... after the fight den we watch movie... she fall asleep coz she was so tired... we woke up today at 6pm something... i know our life is like day change to night, night change to morning... haiz... den after tat she was very hungry she ask me to go down stairst to buy her bread and bring Bao Bao along.. oh ya... i have two little daughters adi... the cute one call Bao Bao the fat one call Bei Bei... hehe... anyway where was i... oh ya... she say bring Bao Bao along to buy bread... oh my got they are just so cute... den after tat 7pm something we decided to go to Alamanda to buy food goods... during us at the bus... she lay on my lap... i can tell you tat it was damn nice.. is like come come my dear i will protect you from this mean world... haha... onestly say it was damn nice... anyway... den after tat she baught damn alot of things really damn alot... haha... den after tat we went back home and we cook... wah cook damn alot you know... we wanted to eat with my mother... she just finish work rite.... den after tat when she some back she and her brother and man li went to the indian mamak to tkae some food make us damn disapointed because we cook alot... i mean alot... anyway... den i was on9 to check out friendster... seeing ppl's pic and all... den she came and sit on my lap... hmmm... and she hug me... hehe... how was the feeling? damn nice la of course... den after tat.... she went to take a bath... is my turn now... hehe is damn nice to blog again man... haha... oh ya... my two little daughter is a hamster damn cute wan you know... ^^

hmmm.... wake up at 12pm something... my big brother call me... ask me wheather wanna go play badminton with peggy or not... haiz... den i agree with my brother... tat time i wake up den go play o2jam.... got mission... haiz... still cant pass... anyway... den i wake my baby up... but she still sleeping like a pig... den finally she wake up... den we go get ready... after tat we go take bus to 1u to meet my brother... when we reach... my brother fetch me back to my house... to take badminton racket... after taking the racket... off we go to taman mega to play badminton... peggy was there waiting for us... tat time was like 4pm something... den play until 6pm... den peggy's parents come to fech her back... after tat my brother fetch me and joyce back to 1utama... when we reach... we headed to juiceworks and chit-chat with hellen my ex manager... den me and my darling went to 'wong kok char chan teng' to have dinner... den after tat... i have to teman her to the bas stop.... but the bus nvr come... my brother came to fetch joyce to the lrt station... den me and him went to 'rasta' to yam cha.... before tat we are at the car talking... my brother ask joyce about something... about why joyce dont wanna hold my hand or why she never wanna say 'i love you' this three words... feel damn sad tat time... when i heard the answer i was really damn hurt... but have to keep it in myself... welll tomoro 17 of august 2006 is our 1st month anniversary... haha... anyway where were we... oh we are at the 'rasta' part... den when we reach.. my bro order 'ribena' but half an hour also the chi bai man nvr send the drinks... den we just left like tat.. my bro fetch me back to take some stuff den he fetch me to 1utama... haiz... den after tat.. wait for my mother to finish work den we go back to cyberjaya... haiz... while waiting... i kena rape by 'channel' ppl.... haiyo... they just wanna see my underwear... haiyo... anyway... den we headed back... after tat.. i wanted to suprise my baby by making a card... but haiz... ends up gagal..(fail) she come back early den us... haiz... anyway last minute only can fix her a good card.. den my mother cook good food for us me and joyce... hehe... this is wat i do the hold day....

well today is a not very good day for me... hmmm... where should i start... okey... i woke up around 10am something... coz.. (joyce)is going to KLCC to meet some guy and watch 'Garfield'... okey... you go out with him nevermind... but you know tat i want to watch 'garfield' with you so badly... and i told you about it lots of time... 'we go watch together'... i was suppose to stay at cyberjaya... but is to boring for me... den i decided to go 1utama to meet my big brother (yau suen)... so i went to get ready... well we sit bus as usaull... when we reach to 'kelana jaya' (joyce)have to get down the bus... she need to take the 'lrt' to KLCC... to meet her guy... anyway... i was saying.... den when i reach to 1utama... around 12pm something.... no wan was at 1utama... den i went to fiind 'maktao' i saw her and her boy friend today is their 10month anniversary... well congrats to them... den my brother call... she say she will reach around 2 something... coz need to pass things to my bro's wife (peggy)... den i went to 'juiceworks' to see who was there... but no wan was there... haiz... so i went to 'channel' to see wheather (jessica) is there so i can wish her 'happy belated birthday' but she in 2pm... (andria) say she's going to break at 2pm... so i go accompany her... but before tat... i went to (nor's) stall... when there to chit -chat with them so long nvr see each other... we talking all kind of silly stuff... den 2pm reach... went back to 'chanel' to go break with (andria)... she was with her friend tat time... she say one of her friends will join us for lunch.... den we went to 'seed cafe' her friend is (monna)... nice meething her thoug.. anyway... (andria) order sandwish... haha... and (monna) order some soup... me? nvr order... coz was not hungry at tat time... i ate bread and drink nescafe mocca with (joyce) this morning... in the same time worry alot tat time also... about(joyce) 'dont know wat she doing now','dont know is she really having fun without me', ' wonder how is the movie with tat guy'... haiz lots of question running in my mind... haiz... but anyway... (monna) was a nice person... den we chit-chat for like damn long... den only... my brother come... he came in... den introduce... den after tat... we chit-chat together...den after tat... (andria) have to go back to work...(monna) wanna go shopping... so me and my brother... went to 'perlini silver' he wants to see wat to but for his (peggy)... haiz... anyway... den we went to 'osc' we saw (susu) my little sister... she came to fix her tatoo thing... den we went for a smoke inside 'osc' den we even play 1 round of foostball... den she have to chao... tat time was like 3 something adi... den my brother's father call... have to go back... den after tat... i borrow his phone to call (joyce).. she say she just finish the movie.. i ask her when is she coming to 1utama... she answer dont know... haiz... so i went back with my brother... once i reach home den i start to pack (janet's) stuff... and her bike...so went to house and pass it to her... den off i go back to my house... den i went to take a bath... den pack my stuff... bring more clothes to cyberjaya.. because no clothes to wear adi... den after tat... tat time was like 6 something... i use my house phone to call her... den she say she's at KLCC 'lrt' station.. ok... so i went to 1utama to wait for her.. 6.50 she reach 1utama... well saw her... hmmm. den i ask her 'so how is your movie'... she was so happy she say 'em hen cute oh,garfield mou hen cute oh,ke how siao ler'... wah damn pain man my heart.. haiz... as long as she is happy... everything will be ok den... den she say 'xian zhai yao chui na ni ar', den i tell her we go ask job at Mcdonald ok? she say ok... so we went.. i know the manager there... den after tat i ask her we want to find job... she gave us application form... den (joyce) say she dont feel like working here... all also malay.. den no chinese.. she say she scared.. i told her no need to be scared (ck) here ma...? den she still say i still scared... haiz... den i tell her ok... lets go... quit dissapointed on tat time... haiz... den after tat... we went to 'osc' my (susu) waiting for us there... went we reach i saw my little (susu) playing foostball with (ah pin)... den after tat we sit there and chill... chit-chat abit... den i told (joyce) we go back k... nothing to do here adi... den she say ok... when we walking towards tthe bas stop... she pull me and say she wanna go ATM mechine... okey... den we went... after tat we took the lif down to ground floor.. going towards the bus stop.. she hold my hand.... lalalalala... hmmm the feeling is like damn nice.. but i know wont hold for long... haiz... anyway... she say she wanna eat ice cream... so we went to GIANT to buy ice cream... feeling better on tat time... haiz... i reallly dont know how... for awhile cold... for awhle hot... for awhile very cold.. for awhile very hot... haiz... AS LONG AS SHE IS HAPPY DEN IS FINE FOR ME... dne we went to bakerzin to ask for job... after tat we went to buy kayaball... den went shoping at JUSCO.. den off we go back to cyerjaya... den went we reach home... i ask my mother you hungry... den i decided to cook for them because... (rebecca) only eat a bread the hold day today... i work my ass in the kitchen... really just wan someone to appriciate... only ma... haiz... finish cooking i do this and tat... den hoping them to come willingly... but no.. i ask joyce come eat... she say she not hungry... haiz means i cook for fucks la.. den i go tell my mother (rebecca) to come eat she say she not hungry... aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.... haiz... nvm... they say eat abit... once sit down... this one not enough salt... this wan tat wan...aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.... i first time cook ma... haiz... den now i'm blogging... la..... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

hmmmm.... well as usual today someone call me in the afternoon... den i woke up... tat was like 3 something in the afternoon... it was (janet), well she call me and ask me wheater me and (joyce) is together or wat... i told her yes... and lots of stuff.... den after tat... (joyce) ask me.. 'ni tu zhe er le ma' den i say why... she say... 'er le jiu zhu fan gei ni'... hehe den i say okok... 'du zhi er le... chui zhor fan'... off she go... i was on 9 with (janet) and (kwee huey), (kwee huey) send to me some cute mr.p thing den ask for my oppinion... coz she wanna do it for her schooll stuf la... anyway... den i went off 9 4awhile... den when to the kitchen to see wat is my beautiful darling doing... den went to help her also... den after tat... we ate... at the living room.... i just like to be woth her at home... so we no need to act around... haiz.... she cook.. 'egg fried with tomato, den potato fried with dry green chili and tomato, and also red bean oh and rice also' hehe... after tat... she wash the plate i went on9 again... haiz... the hold day... on9 only la... my big brother (yau suen) tect me and say... 'hey tonite go on9 wei... i'll tell you wat happpen today haha' must be something to do with (peggy) wan... hmmmmm... tomoro tell you guys k... anyway... i'm going to take a bath now... oh by the way... i just wanna say tat... i just love being with joyce alone... so we can be ourself...

hmmmm.... today... woke up damn late... beacause... yesterday me and (joyce) chat with my big brother (yau suen) and dai sou (peggy) hehe... two love bird... anyway... chat until 3 to 4 am... den me and my darling decided to go sleep liao... woke up at around 3 something also... den (janet)keep on calling me... haiz... se keep on wan her stuff back haiz... den two of us... woke up get ready and off we go to 1u... when we are at the bus... things happen like... i hold (joyce)'s hand... i just feel so good to just hold her... feel like she's mine.... ^^... anyway but i notice once i hold her hand 4 awhile den she will take away den do her beautiful hair... den she never countinue hold my hand... haiz... few times i hold her hand but still the same thig happen make me damn disapointed... haiz wat can i do... den when we reaching to 1u adi... den i saw her doing her hand... i wanted to see wat she is doing... but she just snatch her hand away.. you know wat i mean....? den i damn terasa man.... haiz... we reach to 1u around 6 something... all the way we walk into 1u i was damn quite... she never even boder to ask... haiz... when we reach to 'chanel' den i ask for (jessica) but she was not in... haiz... den (joyce)came ove and say... 'ni u na yi ge gen bu tiu ar' i just smile and walk away... den off we go to my mother (rebecca) there she was doing sampling... den we chat 4 awhile there... den i go meet (janet), (joyce) when walk around alone... 4 awhile... haiz... dont wanna say wat happen between me and (janet).. no mood to say... after meeting her den (joyce) call... she say she was at juice works... den i went there... after tat... we went to 'osc' to meet my big brother... but she was not there... she call and say she was at... baskin robin there... so me and (joyce) went there... form far i saw (susu),(mandy) & my big brother (yau suen) den we pass by redrumurder.... when i look inside i saw (pao yu)... my little brother... den i run in there and give her a hug.... den ran back out to go hug (susu,mandy and yau suen) after tat we when to 'jetty' to eat dinner... after dinner all of them say wanna go to 'osc' and play foostball... but (joyce)'s say she wanna go 'mai chai' (yau suen) say wanna go computer shop... den off we go agian... den after tat... inside the computer shop... i hold joyce hand again... she try to take off her hand... den i ask why want to be like tat... i can still remember she say... 'wo jue de hen chi kuai... wo zhi xi huan tuo na na de shou' haiz... damn terasa man... damn 'sam tong' also man... haiz... wat to do as long as she is happy rite guys... den after tat... we went 'giant' feel better... coz my bro is beside me... den told her about this... haiz... after 'mai chai' we went back to 'osc'... in the way tat time... i was pushing the troli... den lazy to take the lif... so we took the escalator... the escalator to 'osc wan... when reaching the top... the troli stuck... my bro was beside me... (joyce) was beside me... on tat time i was thinking wat is gong to happen to her man... damn scared she fall back man... den the troli even hit my both of my legs.. but.. at last i manage to put the troli back onto the ground... haha... nothing happen.... lucky man... den after tat we say bye bye to my family... den off we go back to cyberjaya... haiz.. now i feel better... because... (joyce) is treating me better... i dont know... at hhome she treat's me better.. like only me is hers... but out side haiz... dont wanna talk about it... tat's why i like to stay at home with her...

i know her from juice works around 5 months ago... well... it started on the saturday of march something something.... where i was working like crazy... well... saturday is a very busy day... so i saw this two china gurl(joyce) and (rebecca) come to ask for job... welll as usaul.. my manager(hellen) will interview... but my boss(mooi li) was around so she's the wan who interview two of them... i never really care about how thay look like or how they sound like... i'm just crazy about making juice tat time... after few days.... i came to work in a very blur look... is because i just woke up tat time... when i reach i saw my manager(hellen) looking at me... i smile.... den i saw (jewel)... some stupid idiot working at juiceworks.. den i saw her... (joyce) ... she was very quite at tat time... keep on cutting fruits only... coz she's new... and she told me tat she heard me and (hellen) saying tat.... (hellen) ask me... why dont wanna talk to the new staff... and (joyce)heared me saying... 'ta dou bu yao gen wo jiang hua'... hehe... well.... my feelings towards her is like okey... there is a chun chick working at my place... tat's all... because on tat time i was still having relationship with (janet) ... well few months past just like tat... always when i look at her i know i will fall in love with her 1 day... me and my manager (hellen)we always talk about her... i always say how she look when she put down her hair... (hellen)say's better dont think so much... you still got (janet) .... so on tat time i just keep my self down.... always... always thinking on how to go close with her.... so i just take the advantage to call her 'lao poh'... 'lao poh' here and there... until the hold juice works also know and thought tat she is my 'lao poh' hehe.... JUN 2006 (rebecca)is going back to china for vacation for like one month... me,(hellen)and(wing)wanted to give(rebecca) a so call farewell party... at 'bbq plaza'... well tat time my feelings towards her is getting more deep but i still have to keep myself low... because i still having relationship with(janet)and she always ask me where am i.. dont like me going out with my friends... i always have to lie to her where am i... and so on.... welll back to the topic.... den during tat month... i was like trying to get close to her... making relationship getting closer and closer... i even ask her out to watch movie... first time watching movie with her kindda nervours... but i just stay cool... we watch the movie call 'scary movie 4' well for us teenager it will be a very comedy movie... but to her is like not so her type and she dont like the movie... oh ya she is 21 this year and i am 18 this year... not big deal rite... is just a number... a age dosen't mater to me... i hope she thinks like tat too... anyway... before the movie start... i bring her to my 'lepak' place 'osc' hehe den i introduce her to my family... my big brother (yau suen) and my little sister (susu)... after tat we when out of 'one utama' we when to 'rasta' 4 awhile to 'yam cha'... after tat we headed back to 'one utama' becaue the movie is going to start... we bought pop corn and drinks... when we go in... watching movie... she offer me pop corn... but i say no thanks.. coz i wan her to eat more... but in the end she feed me pop corn... hahahhahahaha... hehe... *cough cough* okey back to the topic... i still remember she told me after the movie she say... ' wat the hell movie is this' i smile and say sorry next time k... but i was quite down on myself... for choosing this type of stupid movie... den after tat i accompany her to sit the 2am bus... so she can go back to cyberjaya... den i still tell her if you reach home remember to call me and tell me tat you are ok... and you reach home safely k... she noaded... den i went home... few weeks time also i went out with her... feelings getting stronger... my family ask me wheater i like her or wat... i say no... i still have janet... i wont... but deep inside i know i already drop into tat big hole of hers... but just keep myself low... i've been spending lots of time with her.... calling her and so on... we even went to khairul's house 'swimming' hehe me (hellen) (wing) and her... it was just fun... to be with her... no worries... well end of JUNE is reaching... and she say's she wanna resign...tat makes my heart very pain... and if i dont tell her... i will lose her... if i dont tell her i like her... i wont be seeing her anymore... well... (rebecca) is coming back rite... when she is back i always go to cybercafe to chat with them... and i know for real i already have feeling towards her...i keep on telling her to on her web cam... woooh she just look so great... she offer me to go to her house... because zhu na is back and ahe wanna cook for me.. hahaha... haiz to many ppl sayang me man... haiz... anyway... den i stay over night at her house until now today... hehe... in between you should know wat happen.. well... yes we are together... being with her is just like being at the heaven... i just love to see her smile... and when she sleep i can sayang her... haiz... well JOYCE if you are reading this i wanna let you know tat 'i dont care who you are, where your're from, wat you did as long as you love me' and thank you for giving me the chance to love you... and i dont hope any return for you... your tears... no save it.... okey all you can know now is kevin love joyce tat's all... to all my family out there thank you for being there for me... hahaha ' ck's happy '....